Goodbye 'Love'

Fighting with the BF. He kept saying that I've changed. For the first time, he off his phone. I tried to reach him by calling his friend who's staying with him for now. But he refused to speak with me. For the first time after we got serious.

Before he hung up, he said that I need to feel it for at least once. Feel what? A pain of losing him?? Honestly, I can't take the pain if it's about losing him. Felt dozen times already. I love him. I can't stand living without him for even just for an hour! How can I take it if it's for a day???

Have I really changed like he said? Or it's just him? I don't know either. Maybe I am. I noticed that I'm kinda rude to him now. But that's because he always scold me even with my very tiny miny small mistake. But I never scold him the way he scold me even when he made a mistake. Ok I did scold him if he made a huge mistake or if he scold me first.

I can't take it anymore. Being scold I mean. Just now we fought just because I fell asleep. And he got angry.. scold then hung up. So I called him back.

"Macam you tak cam tu plak?"

That's the word that made him hung up the 2nd time when he scold me for falling asleep. 4months ago, he always slept when I talk. Talk talk talk talk cry and what I heard from him is a snore.

"Bila you rasa nak cari I, baru you cari I"

That's the word that made him off phone.

Is it my fault anyway? I don't know. Why do guys always being so selfish. Why they think that they always right? He said that I made him cari pasal. Hell the what??

How can I fix my relation with him? Can we last long anyway? I hope so ='( I love him. I wonder when will he find me????

For the first time also,
I off my phone.

Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup

I bet all Malaysian know this story. A story about a Mum who went to commit suicide because her children didn't left her the tembakul eggs she brought home.

For me, the story is fucking retarded and fuckingly stupid. Because the mother is very damn bloody hell stupid!!

*cool down*

As you already know, the mum went to the batu belah just because of eggs. And for God's sake, her children is still a little kid. Can't think of anything except for having the things they want. Bodoh kejadah apa mak dia tu? It's not the kids who were to blame. They know nothing at all. The mum who kononnya ada brain sangat tu, didn't use her brain well.

Can't she think of what will happen to her kids while she went to suicide just because of EGGS? So... the eggs are more important than her very own kids? What a shame. Don't call yourself a mother then. SELFISH! Why can't the mum sacrifice the eggs for her kids?? WHY?!?! She can't be a mum!!

The story also sets bad examples to the kids. It were meant to be a moral for children, but didn't they just thaught the children about suicide just because of eggs? And tell how stupid the mum is?

Back To The Basic

The last topic talked about LOVE. Well, today I'm gonna write about love again. Because I talked with my friend whom I didn't talk to for like 3 months and we missed so many things including where he had pursued for his study.

We talked about my boyfriend who doesn't trust me at all and we misunderstood very often. Not that often but ALWAYS misunderstood.

Then my friend told me something which I already know.. And I'm very sure that everybody do know this as well, don't they?

The most important thing in relationship is trust each other besides understanding.

She doesn't trust him.

In my opinion, love comes after those two main things because if love comes first, without trust and understanding, the relation won't work out. Even with no love, with trust and understanding.. the love will come by itself. That's only an opinion of mine. That doesn't mean it's true.

What comes after love? RESPECT. We have to respect each other to go far with the relation we build. Respect each other's privacy even he/she is our boyfriend/girlfriend. They still have their own life to live. Not just with us. We also have to respect their past before we exist in their life.

What happen when there's no trust, understanding, love & respect? DISASTER, I tell you!!!

Love Destroys The Stripes

My first topic to talk about is L.O.V.E. It's a major topic everyone talks about. There's two major topic.. First is love and the other one is money. I don't talk $$. I only talk love love. =P

Love affects human being so much until they got too obsessed with love. Why I said human being? Not living things? Because I don't know animals. Have you ever thought that a cat would commit suicide because of a broken heart? Maybe some of the cats commit suicide by letting the car hit them on the road? Haha. We don't know, do we? That's why I only point to human being.

When people say LOVE, they will think about heart. When people think about heart, they will feel somekind of pain. Different pain. It makes people goes crazy until we became a complete different person. Sometimes, we are not ourselves. That's the power of love beside making people blind.

See how mad people is about love until they make a heart shape using anything they had in sight. Another example..

Then when they got crazier, they will light it and burn everything they had insight and make the fire into a heart shape. Haha. Mad people.

Love.. People usually said the contrast in relation is the one that last long. I might have a problem with that. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. With all my heart indeed. From the very beginning until now. But we're facing a difficult time right now, making me almost want to give up. We share a same interest in everything. That's the problem. Because we also share a same behavior. Everything is same. When he got mad and throw a terrible heart-pain words to me, I will throw to him back the same exact words. Because we did the same thing. When will the war ends? I also don't know.

Even we fight almost everyday, but I do still love him so much. That's the power of love. It makes me blind and it makes him blind. We had faced so many problems including having two third parties. That makes our love stronger. From don't-want-a-serious-relation-with-a-commitment him, now he became a very serious boyfriend. But he got over jealous over everything and it makes me suffocate. That's the problem in love.

LOVE can make a matured people became un-matured while un-matured people became matured.

NOT CUTE

Oh well I've gotta go. I'll write more soon =]

xxoo ♥

Intro

Helo readers. Although there's nobody knows this blog yet, I still want to say helo readerS with the "s" there. Can you see it, no? Cause I wish someday my blog will be a hit and everybody wants to start reading from the beginning. And this very lame intro will have readerS [note: notice the S, ok?]

I decided to write anonymously for a certain reasons that couldnt be tell cause then my friend will found out who I am. But perhaps they already know when they read the last sentence. Oh well, atleast they are my true friends.

It has been a really really longgggggggggggggggg time that I last wrote a blog or a diary. Yeah I owned a blog. Quite famous [kidding] one. Hehe. But for now I cant write there. Like I said, for a certain reasons. If someday, a miracle happen or thing changed, I might reveal who I am and write my main blog url here.

Oh well i got to go for now.

xxoo ♥