Open Up

Wuuu I'm so done. Thinking of leaving him again but it seems so wrong. He hits me. Again. Barely walk. I wanna live without him but I don't know if I can. I wanna be without him but he's part of me. I wanna go on but I'm scared.

I know, being with him is so wrong. I can't reach the stars above because he kept pulling my leg because too afraid that I'd go far away from him. He doesn't know that I want him to fly with me to reach the stars. He doesn't want to. But he didn't let me too. That's bad. I know.

"He's violent. Leave him!"
"Break up with him"
"He's a shit ass jerk! You can find a better guy"
"Does he loves you as much as you love him?"
"If he really loves you he wouldn't do that to you!"
"Leave him!"

Everyone said the same things. Everyone. I know I'm stupid. Stupid enough to forgive him after all what he has done.

My best friend told me that hitting me is worse than having an affair. Well, he had an affair. And he even let me know everything. I have to see them 'LOVE' each other. Even help him "pretend" that he loves that girl. Yeah. He asked me to tell that girl that he loves her. He said it was just an act because he loves doing that to that girl. I even let them chatting, webcam-ing, sweet talking infront of me. Asshole!

He hits me a lot of times. The first time when I can't stop shouting because I found out that he texts that girl behind my back saying that he still loves her and that's why he can't move on with me. FUCK!

The 2nd time.. Err I didn't remember. Like I said, a lot of times. But the worst is at Petaling area. He slapped me and kicked me and punched me on my stomach. I have to forgive him before he kills someone.

And the latest one he kicked me on my leg. It hurts! But my heart hurts more. I can't leave him now... For certain reasons.

I didn't regret that we met as it was fate. I didn't regret that I love him as it was nature. But I do regret that I forgave him for the very 1st mistake he made. Having an affair. I regret that the most. Because it was a choice that I can decide. But I decided to be a fool. I made a wrong decision..